Father, forgive them!

As I volunteered at an event for my son the other night, I suddenly found myself face to face with a person who hurt me personally and professionally. We live in a fairly small community. In the past few months, I have encountered this person numerous times. And each time, my heart and mind travel down paths that are neither emotionally or spiritually healthy, dragging me into a pit steeped in hurt and anger and bitterness.

I have never experienced the pain and confusion of such a betrayal before. Never have I battled against bitterness. I have encouraged others not to let bitterness rule and ruin their hearts. At this point in my life, I am gaining empathy and wisdom for the battle.

In my own battle, I see the ruin I have warned others against. Bitterness and anger, when allowed to rule the heart and mind, crowd out the simple and beautiful joys -- the laughter of our children, my sons exuberance over finding yet another grub in the garden, the caress of my husband's thumb on the back of my hand and all the love that simple act communicates. When we allow anger and bitterness to run unchecked, they begin to taint every part of us. We become angry. We become short tempered. We become spiteful, in thought if not also in word and deed, toward those we perceive to  be slighting us. We turn from creatures of beauty and grace to shriveled little shrews bearing the warts of hatred and anger and battered pride. I don't know about you, but when I stew on how I've been wronged, I am grumpy and not fun to be around. My poor kiddos and husband!

As I lay in bed the other night contemplating an opportunity in my life, the niggling voices of doubt and anger arising from my betrayal started to surface and cloud the grace of the opportunity. And I started to get angry. No longer was I thinking and praying about the opportunity, but rather was following the twisted path of bitterness. Suddenly, God reminded me that I am not called to judge. I am called to be like Him. Jesus was accused, lied about, beaten, betrayed, and eventually died an excruciating and torturous death on a cross. Rather than yelling at his accusers and berating them, rather than telling his friends and family to watch out for those liers, rather than calling God's wrath and punishment down on them, He used precious breaths to utter these words, "Father, forgive them."

My breath was almost taken away as that realization hit me. Father, forgive them. Not, "Lord, please pay them back for every unkindness and betrayal they laid out to me." No, rather, "Father, forgive them."

We are called to follow the example of Christ. We are called to be transformed more every day until our hearts look like His someday. We are supposed to forgive, rather than hold onto a list of wrongs.

Today, take these verses with you and let them steep in your heart and transform you. Let go of your anger and bitterness. Pray, "Father, forgive them." You don't have to trust the people who have hurt you, but you do need to forgive them so that the light of God's grace and mercy can shine in you and bring you peace, so you can spread peace.

Romans 12:9
"Love must be honest and true. Hate what is evil. Hold on to what is good."
My translation: We are supposed to love, even when you find someone tough to love. Don't let negative thoughts about others grab a hold in your heart and mind. Battle those negative thoughts with thoughts of what is good. Battle the negative thoughts with prayers for those who have hurt you, and prayers for strength to forgive them.

Romans 12:14
"Bless those who hurt you. Bless them, and do not call down curses on them."
Wow, that is hard to do, isn't it? We want pay back when someone wrongs us. We often wish they will suffer as we have suffered. We want them to hurt for hurting us. Like little kids in shoving match, we want them to fall down, too. But, instead we are challenged to bless them, to wish good things for them. We just pile negative garbage up in our heads and hearts when we spend time wishing they would be punished by God for hurting us. Christ said that the greatest command, after loving God first, is to love our neighbors. Christ did not call down curses on the Jewish leaders when he hung on the cross, when people threw stones at him, when he was whipped. Rather, he called down a blessing -- asking God to please forgive them (Luke 23:34).

Romans 12:19-21
"My friends, don't try to get even. Leave room for God to show his anger. It is written, "I am the One who judges people. I will pay them back," (Deuteronomy 32:35) says the Lord. Do just the opposite. Scripture says, 'If your enemies are hungry, give them food to eat. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. By doing those things, you will pile up burning coals on their heads.' (Proverbs 25:21,22) Don't let evil overcome you. Overcome evil by doing good."
It's not up to us to judge or to "make sure they get what they deserve." Jesus told his followers that in this life we would suffer, and sometimes that suffering will be at the hand of other people. Take the burden of anger you feel against that other person off your shoulders and off your heart. Give it to the Lord. We will all be judged one day for our lives. Let Him take care of the judgement, and don't let anger eat you up so that you are judged for  your anger and the words and actions that came out of your anger.

Let go of what you are holding to so tightly. You'll find that when you let go of the anger and bitterness, your hands, your heart, and your mind will be freed to grasp the wonderful blessings he has planned for those who truly love Him. Don't miss the joys today because you are holding onto the sorrows of yesterday.

Give it to the Lord, and say "Father, forgive them, and help me to forgive them, as well."